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Countdown 2010

Dear Bloggie,

It’s almost end of the year now, and once again, I’m in a self-assessment state. I don’t remember everything. Instead, I don’t like to be reminded of ALL things. But, learning path has brought me into some understanding. Therefore, it might be useful to look into some highlights.

2009 begins with surprises, going with surprises, and ends with surprises. Some of them has became so important and marked up a turning point of certain paradigm. Some has revealed “unexpected” colors of my true self and has “released” silly results. As usual, there were tough and crazy decisions been made along the way but thinking of it now, I actually had lots of fun and enjoy every second of it because I believe there will be light at the end of a tunnel. Anyhow, nothing of those has lessened the gratitude I had developed in me for years.

I had several “first time” experiences this year. I had my first student (besides my own little brother) for my tuition class this year, a Chinese girl next door, who lacking in English and Bahasa Melayu. I had my own first sewing machine and had sewed my first pencil case for Amil and a make-up casing for me. I had experienced broken-hearted for the first time that caused by love. I had my first experience of becoming an emcee for a formal program, and keep on doing it for several times already. I had my first program with amazing kids from orphanage home.

Besides first times, there are places I visited for different purposes in 2009. Most of these visits were unplanned and came to me by surprise. The most alarming was a visit to my homeland, Bawean Island to attend my grandmother who was very ill and demanded to see me and my mother. Thank goodness she has recovered and now has back to normal. Other visits were due to work purposes and tasks I had to fulfill in this whole year 2009.

But there were few losses too. I had lost one aunt in September and one uncle in October. Two big loses in just 40 days.

Well, enough of highlighting experiences that ARE history. Tomorrow is mystery. But today is a gift. That’s why it is called present :-)

Happy New Year everyone. May Allah bless you.

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ASPEN SHOP II - Amazing Kids

Program:
ASPEN School Holiday Program (SHOP) - Series II

Date:
5 & 6 December 2009

Location:
ABC Resort, Janda Baik, Pahang

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SHOP - II Reckee @ ABC Resort, Janda Baik

Program:
TOT at ABC Resort, Janda Baik, Pahang.

Date:
21 November 2009

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Pengganti

This poem is a special tribute to Allahyarhamah Obek Nasiah binti Adnan (12 Sept 09) and Allahyarham Obek Shahrir bin Adnan (19 Oct 09)

Dalam kebasahan
Desir angin sendu mengundang gerimis malam
Mengiringi sebuah perjalanan terasing
Ke taman abadi..

Dalam kedinginan
Hati membeku melawan sedu
Tingkah dipacu gagah
Senyum dipaksa ramah
Karna tangan menggenggam erat selaksa tirakat
Mewaris amanah yang tertinggalkan

Ini permainan realiti
Bila yang pergi tak kembali
Yang tinggal tak henti menabur budi
Tapi jiwa?
Kadang sulit tuk mengerti
Padahal siang dan malam pun
tak pernah bosan menyusun hari

Justru itu,
Yang patah, harus tumbuh
Yang hilang, harus berganti!

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Cycling @ Botanical Garden, Putrajaya

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Kemesraan Ini Janganlah Cepat Berlalu

(Kemesraan - Iwan Fals)

Suatu hari di kala kita duduk ditepi pantai
Dan memandang ombak di lautan yang kian menepi
Burung camar terbang bermain di derunya air
Suara alam ini hangatkan jiwa kita

Sementara sinar suria perlahan mulai tenggelam
Suara gitarmu mengalunkan melodi tentang cinta
Ada hati membara erat bersatu
Getar seluruh jiwa tercurah saat itu

Kemesraan ini… janganlah cepat berlalu
Kemesraan ini… inginku kenang selalu
Hatiku damai… jiwaku tentram di samping mu
Hatiku damai… jiwa ku tentram bersamamu


~The Journey~



~The People~

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Half-planned Visit to Bawean Island

Planned or unplanned, the truth is I’ve already visited my homeland, Bawean Island very recently for some emergency purposes. Very very sorry for those people I didn't manage to meet up. The chances given to me were very limited, may Allah grant us better opportunities next time with better condition and better earnings.

One week I spent just like one night of beautiful dream. Till now, I couldn’t believe of a fact that I had experienced such a different world, yet I felt not too hard to adapt with (as how I thought of previously). Well.. at least for a week.. haha. No computer and internet for me, but there are lembu, sawah and gunung for me to be amazed of. No car for me to travel and the road are unbelievably ruined, but ‘keliling kampung’ using motorbike is not less exciting( sakit pinggang je lah hehe). But, NO TRAFFIC JAM BABEH!! I was free from traffic jam for a week… felt like Heaven… hohohohohho!

----Some Prologue -----

"Dari mana mbak?", tanya petugas kastam di Juanda Airport. "Dari Bawean, Pak." balasku. "Oh, dari Pulau Putri ya?", tanya dia lagi seakan minta kepastian. "Iya", balasku manis dan singkat seraya berfikir, kenal juga dia sama Bawean, walaupun cuma sebatas nama julukannya Pulau Putri. Itulah saat-saat keberangkatan pulang kami dari Surabaya ke Kuala Lumpur setelah sepekan menjalani hidup sebagaimana layaknya kehidupan orang Bawean asli di situ.

Sembilan tahun adalah jarak yang cukup lama untuk aku mengingat-ingat kembali peristiwa dan kondisi Bawean yang pernah kukenal dulu. Ada perubahan dan ada juga persamaan. Ada peningkatan dan ada penurunan. Namun, tidak layak untuk aku menilai lebih dari itu, karna sudah cukup lama aku tidak menjadi sebahagian dari keberhasilan ataupun kekurangan yang mereka punyai sekarang.

Lumrah alami, di manapun pasti tidak luput dengan perubahan dengan berjalannya waktu. Yang lebih berharga adalah pelajaran atas semua kejadian, untuk kebutuhan diri sendiri dan untung jika bisa bermanfaat untuk orang lain.

----Overview ----

"Bawean, the Religious Land" satu gelaran yang menurutku tidak keterlaluan. Pendidikan agama telah dimulai dari anak-anak usia dini hinggalah pendidikan informal pada guru-guru muda yang sedang menjamur dalam sistem persekolahan di Bawean. Sistem pendidikan pesantren pula masih megah dengan jumlah santri yang makin bertambah dari tahun ke tahun. Apa lagi sekarang bulan Ramadhan. Hampir tiap detik setiap pelosok desa tidak pernah sunyi dari suara-suara pengajian, tadarusan, dan lain-lain aktivitas rutin bulan puasa.

Namun, bila mendengar kisah-kisah magis tentang Bawean, sengaja terlintas dalam benak fikiranku satu julukan lain, "Bawean, The Land of Magic". Mulai dari sejarah terbitnya nama Bawean, hinggalah keberadaan tempat-tempat keramat, sampai sekarang masih membawa ceritera magis dan setia diperturunkan dari generasi ke generasi.

Sudah menjadi lumrah masyarakat desa, mereka memegang kuat ciri-ciri ketimuran, kesopanan pertuturan dan budi bahasa yang tinggi. Walaupun banyak cerita yang kudengar tentang sebahagian anak-anak muda yang tidak mampu menahan pengaruh luar dari merusak budaya, namun masih banyak yang sangat menjaga akhlaqulkarimah yang diterapkan pada mereka sejak usia dini.

Dalam kesibukan melayani saudara dan tetangga yang mampir ke rumah tiap hari, sempat juga aku menziarahi makam Waliyah Zainab di Pangga, pusara kakek dan nenek di Teluk Jati dan Gelam, pusara-pusara di puncak Gunung Pataonan, Gelam. Tapi sayang, tak sempat mengikut ibu menziarah saudara di Tenggen, tempat yang katanya ada Jirat Lanjang (kubur panjang). Kebetulan pada hari itu aku malah sakit, mungkin tidak tahan cuaca panas.

Bawean tika ini sedang musim kemarau, hampir tidak ada hujan sama sekali. Sawah dan dusun berwarna coklat kekuningan tanda tumbuh-tumbuhan sedang mengering. Aku malah sempat melihat kebakaran di kaki Gunung Pataonan, dekat dengan rumah kakakku. Mulanya aku cemas bila api terus menular sangat dekat dengan persawahan dan kandang sapi. Namun kata kakak, ini kejadian rutin setiap kali musim kering. Kaki gunung ini pasti akan terbakar dan membersihkan hamparan daun-daun jati yang sedang mengering.

Kacang jadi tanaman pengganti untuk menyuburkan kembali tanah sementara menunggu musim menanam yang akan datang.

----Dialogue with the people, Observation and Comparison----

Adalah lebih mudah mendapatkan informasi dari golongan sebaya. Jadi, aku suka melayani beberapa anak muda yang sangat informatif dalam membincangkan isu-isu tentang Bawean. Namun, dikarnakan aku lebih tertarik kepada keberadaan sistem pendidikan, diskusi difokuskan kepada tugas mereka sebagai guru, aktivitas harian anak-anak di sekolah, dan kebajikan yang bersangkutan dengan pendidikan.

Pekerjaan orang Bawean umumnya adalah petani dan nelayan. Kini, keberhasilan pendidikan telah melahirkan anak2 lokal yang mampu menjawat peran sebagai guru. Guru lokal mendidik anak lokal juga, ini satu ciri yang kuanggap penting dan sangat berharga untuk Bawean.

Hafith, seorang guru di SD Pinang Gunung sempat memberi pandangan secara umum dalam perbualan singkat kami di atas kapal. Dia sangat mendukung perubahan dalam syllabus pelajaran yang lebih memperbanyak praktikal daripada cuma teori total. Sistem pembelajaran satu guru - satu kelas untuk SD, mengharapkan kesanggupan guru untuk merangkum keseluruhan keperluan pendidikan; jasmani dan rohani, untuk satu kelas yang ada di bawah tanggungjawabnya.

Bakar, anak Uwa Zaini yang sempat kami ziarahi rumahnya juga seorang guru. Dia yang mesra dipanggil Bek-Bek, lebih terdedah dengan perkembangan politik dikarnakan keluarganya sendiri telah berkecimpung dalam bidang itu. Dia banyak memberi pandangan tentang keterkaitan antara kepimpinan politik dan tanggungjawabnya mengarahkan sistem pendidikan, khususnya pendidikan di Bawean. Pendidikan terpuruk atau lambat adalah kesan daripada sistem yang tidak stabil dan sering berubah-ubah bila adanya pertukaran pemimpin. Namun, dia akui keadaan sekarang makin membaik dan dia yakin sistem pendidikan akan jauh lebih stabil dalam jangka satu dua tahun lagi.

Jamal, sepupuku yang sedang kuliah juga menjadikan guru sebagai perkerjaan sampingan untuk menampung pembiayaan perkuliahannya. Dia tidak ragu-ragu menyatakan bahawa orang-orang Bawean sekarang lebih sadar tentang kepentingan pendidikan kepada masyarakat. Kesan pendidikan bukan hanya meningkatkan jumlah pejalar di sekolah atau pesantren, tapi masyarakat kini lebih percaya diri untuk menilai setiap arus perubahan yang datang dengan lebih bijak dan berilmu.

Musyayana, atau mesra dipanggil Yana, siswa kelahiran Sangkapura, punya cara sendiri untuk ikut memberi masukan ilmu kepada anak-anak Bawean. Dia punya tiga buah komputer yang lengkap dengan fasilitas printing di rumahnya. Fasilitas ini yang pada awalnya digunakan untuk kebutuhan adik-adik dan saudaranya sendiri, namun kini sudah terdaftar lebih dari 63 orang menggunakan fasilitas itu secara bergantian, dan GRATIS. Aku sedia tau apakah fungsi IT dalam setiap keperluan harian masyarakat. Namun, di Bawean, IT masih di peringkat awal perkembangan. Penataan pendidikan IT harus dijalankan dengan berhikmah karna masyarakat lebih cepat mengambil efek negatif dari efek positifnya, padahal efek positif menjanjikan kelestarian untuk semua hal dalam lingkungan.

----Where do I stand ?----

By practice, I have already stepped down from being the so-called ‘president of MBFC’, a simple idea shared with Sue, of gathering people from the same origin (Bawean of course). But, as what Hasan said, “You are a life-time president of MBFC no matter what”. I laughed out loud when he said that. But now, when MB still recognizes me with the same title, I think I shouldn’t laugh anymore. Nothing funny of being someone “publicly known” when I silently keep denying the “appreciation and hope” of some people who want me to be or to do something.

I know what and where I’m heading, my dear people, and I’m not sitting still, though this time maybe I'm not doing it the way you like.

I started missing you now, Bawean……………. I’ll be back next year, Insya-Allah!

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Journey Out of Routines

Location:
few places around Bandung & Jakarta, Indonesia

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Event with Orphanages: Attitude of Gratitude

Of all the "attitudes" we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-challenging.
(Breaking Through To The Next Level, by Zig Ziglar)

Alhamdulillah, the planning for this event went well. Yes, definitely there are lots of rooms for improvement. But, thank you very much and congratulation for KSIT team; En Nasa, Kak Yus, Sya, Nadia, Zaza + husband, Linda + partner, Munzir, and all children who are the special guests on that day. You all add up an important value in my understanding of what gratitude really means. I'll remember this special day all of my life. Good luck to you children for your bright and most promising future. May Allah be with you always. Amin.

Event:
A Day with Anak Yatim Taman Medan

Venue:
The Woods Resort, Ulu Yam, Selangor

Date:
08 August 2009


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Being Blessed on 123456789

"Salam Fiya. Yeah.. nowadays nobody wants to be reminded of the day she's born. I suppose there's no harm done eh sis? So, Happy Beseday 2 u. Hv a gud day, Cheers!", says Bro Ady.


"Dear, happy birthday. Wishing u all d happiness. May all ur dreams come true. Luv ya :-D Hv a great day!", says Chief Iz.

"Fiya darling, happy burday & may this day bring wonders & joy 2u :-)", says Darling Ara.

ALL I CAN SAY IS ... I'M SO GRATEFUL OF BEING ONE OF FEW PEOPLE WHO HAD TWO BIRTHDAYS IN A YEAR.

1- 7th of Aug. (I/C's Birthdate)
2- 22nd of Sept. (BirthCert Birthdate)

CONFUSED? Me too. So, don't ask why. Hehe!

Anyhow, I dedicate my special thanks to those people who had never failed to impress me of their love and kindness. I pray the very best to us all and may Allah's blessings become our great companion all the way to success.


-"-

Furthermore, one special number did occur, today in history of every 100 years. It falls @ 12:34:56 7/8/09. Where was I on that time?

I was in the car, driving all the way to Rumah Anak Yatim Taman Medan with Pn Maznah to meet Hjh Kamariah, the caretaker of the orphanage home. This visit is specially to confirm on the Saturday event @ The Woods Resort, Ulu Yam, that we had planned a month earlier. Too many things in my head at that moment, but Pn Maznah reminded me to smile while she snap a photo of me ngam-ngam few seconds after "that moment".

The program has been planned earlier. But before that, we had rekee few other orphanage homes to reassure our service meets the right target of people. Rumah Amal Limpahan Kasih @ Kampung Aman, Puchong, the 1st home we visited for this purpose was not so bad at all. I was so grateful to see they have a proper system in place, effective scheduling for the children, one stop centre for collecting incoming donations from various places, as well as functioning as the distribution centre for other home branches and single mothers. Plus, they have also operate one nursery, selling flowers and plants, located at the same area of the house. This maybe has become part of their side income to support their financial needs.

Well.. that's all for the special day. I just pray for everything being planned work as planned. Amin.



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Jejak Furqan

Menyusuri sebuah jejak warna yang dulu pernah menghias puisi seorang pemuja, demi sebuah cinta.


Desir angin tua menyapa kalbu yang masih kebasahan oleh hujan panas yang pernah datang entah dari mana.

Membawa kenangan dan pengharapan. Sedikit pun tak bertitah 'tuk mengusik pedih luka, atau mengundang tangis yang bersembunyi di balik kesegaran embun-embun pagi di taman ini.

Justru ingin bertanya jawab, pada saksi-saksi yang tak pernah buta dan tuli, tapi selalu bisu itu. Adakah berguna sebuah sejarah kekalahan pada seorang pejuang yang miskin (jiwa)? Seberapakah kudrat yang ada untuk mengkambus awan hitam yang menari-nari di balik tembok pemisah antara haq dan kebathilan? Ternyata jawabnya ada dalam setiap hela nafas yang menghembus, silih berganti antara malam dan siang, antara kalah dan menang.


Sang pemuja berlari kencang mengejar dan dikejar oleh pemasung waktu dan cita yang tertinggalkan. Hingga jejak kembali ia ke taman ini, tempat mula percobaan dan tantangan, penguji iman dan amal. Siapkah ia menapak jalan semula, sedang bekal diberi ibu hanya seberkas pelajaran dari sebuah sejarah kegagalan...?







p.s. nyum nyum, banana split (of Dairy King, Selera Putrajaya Food Court) is one good ending for this poem :-)

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Yasmin, Jacko and The Legacy

One of my normal routine every morning is driving to work while enjoying radio DJs chit-chatting few of their interesting thoughts. Yasmin Ahmad is the main topic being discussed every where in public media now. My best prayers are with her and may she rest in peace.

I don't know Yasmin well enough. I know she's a director and has produced few good ads and films. I watched few of them and yes, I agree with a fact that she has this special understanding of what art means and its purpose to people. But, neither she nor her work has attracted me to jot down few words. But, lessons that I've learned from these happenings are what calling me to write here now.

When Yasmin became talk of the town, callers from all places send their condolences and cite how good she was. Some even shed tears and sounds too sad to even say a word about her. That shows how loving she could really be as a person and touched the heart of so many people. Now, could we flash back our memory, not too long, just few days back, when the late Michael Jackson also became talk of the town? What are the similarities of these two people besides they passed away on the 25th day of a month, and they became talk of the town after that?

Yes, both of them have fight for race equality, in their own unique way, unique yet effective (hikmah). We all know how hard to unite human in different races, we had encountered so many issues, presenting several different concepts in the name of unity, and so the efforts go on and on to pursue our biggest dream, though the path is steep and the sky’s not promising.

People like Yasmin and Jacko are few of so many who aren’t just “walk the walk” or “talk the talk”. Better still, they “walk the talk”! They grew up with some real life experiences and develop basic principles of living and strive with it. They struggle and sacrifice some of their life elements just to hold on and fight for what they have faith into. Now that they've gone, leaving us with the legacy of their principles. I strongly believe not the tears or the mourn they want from us, but rather to continue their efforts, and what they have been fighting for over the years, to realize our biggest dream of unity, bringing peace to the nation, and to the world!

Al-anbiya':107

"Dan tiadalah Kami mengutus kamu, melainkan untuk (menjadi) rahmat bagi semesta alam"


Jacko and Yasmin has done their part? What about us?


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Rejuvenate

Time is ticking. World is spinning. I keep running.
Never reluctant from the first place.
Of a fact that I had voluntarily chosen the fast lane.
It's on me... on us.
The climb is steep. Yes it is.
But TOP, is not that far away from us.
Thou rain of stone falls from no-where sky.
And rain of gold remains our faith... we pledge
But there's one thing we ain't ever forget
A fresh and awakening morning wishes
To the dearest humble red roses
in our own simple garden
Breathe them ...
And we are now rejuvenate...!

p.s. Thank you dearest sisters who reminded me of FITRAH written on June 5, 2006 / 5.13pm

Pernahkah aku merasakan dinginnya pagi
Bila sang mentari menuruti fitrah
Menyongsong hari dengan sinar rahmah

Pernahkah aku menyentuh kelopak mawar
Menyantun jiwa dengan indah warnanya
Melakar senyum di bibir setiap pemujinya

Dan pernahkah aku menatap tingginya langit
Teruja kerlipannya bintang gemintang
Terpesona malamku dalam sendirian

Sungguh nikmat Tuhanku, yang manakah aku dustakan?

Terpanjatlah syukurku...
Umpama tanah kering disirami hujan
Airnya mengalir ke setiap rongga kekosongan
Membasahi akar menyuburkan pepohonan

Dan bila tiupan angin tiba-tiba kencang
Gugurlah daun-daun kering itu, hilang terhanyut deras
Akar nan mencengkam kuat
Dahannya teguh menantang arus
Kental tabah meredah kesanggupan
Berjuang antara badai-badai paling ganas
Berjuang ia... sampai tuntas...

Dan bila sinar mentari tetap pada jalan Nya
Siapa yang sadar cambah-cambah memutik
Lahirlah wajah dedaunan baru
Tumbuh subur terbajai unsur-unsur aqli
Lalu rimbunlah ia menjadi naungan nyaman
Sang perwira bakti yang kehausan kemenangan...

Dan selagi mentari masih tetap pada fitrah
Menyongsong hari dengan sinar rahmah...
Tetaplah di bawah naungan
Tetaplah menjunjung peranan
Bagai sang jauhari yang arif lagi bijaksana
Yang sangat tau mensyukuri nikmat

Nikmat Tuhannya .. tak satupun ia dustakan.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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Black Like Me, Novel Review

Fuuh... Completed reading this book two weeks ago but just manage to write some reviews on it now. First, how did I get this book? I did not, actually. I have only the duplicate copy; accidentally found it when I hang out at my friend’s photocopy shop. The title "Black like Me" has attracted my cynical sense of curiosity to know what's inside it. So, I asked my friend to make one copy for me. And now that I completed my reading, I would definitely look out for the original version of it.

I found out there are thousands of reviews and comments through internet. Since the book was written way back there in 1959, it has become part of history-telling book; North American history to be precise. A movie has been produced based on the story of this book in 1964. In 1959, at the time of the book's writing, race relations were particularly strained in North America. John Howard Griffin, the author and main character of this book, is a middle-aged white man living in Mansfield, Texas in 1959, which are deeply committed to the cause of racial justice. Frustrated by his inability as a white man to understand the black experience, Griffin decides to take a radical step: he decides to undergo medical treatment to change the color of his skin and temporarily become a black man. After securing the support of his wife and of George Levitan, the editor of a black-oriented magazine called Sepia which will fund Griffin's experience in return for an article about it, Griffin sets out for New Orleans to begin his life as a black man.


Griffin expects to find prejudice, oppression, and hardship, but he is shocked at the extent of it: everywhere he goes, he experiences difficulties and insults. The word "nigger" seems to echo from every street corner. It is impossible to find a job, or even a restroom that blacks are allowed to use. Clerks refuse to cash his checks, and a white bully nearly attacks him before he chases the man away. These are all real experiences and to understand the fact that one man purposely fake his skin color to experience such horrible moments in his life, this what greatly amazed me as a reader. Hence, should I say Howard Griffin is an “antonym” of Michael Jackson? No, because Griffin’s black skin color only last for two months whereas Jacko’s one are permanent.


Griffin then travel into the Deep South of Mississippi and Alabama, which are reputed to be even worse for blacks. He is disheartened and exhausted, but manages to rejuvenate his spirit with a help of his friend P.D. East, a newspaperman who is ferociously opposed to racism. After a long hitchhiking trip throughout Alabama and Mississippi, Griffin finds that conditions for blacks are appalling, and that black communities seem run-down and defeated. But in Montgomery, however, the black community is charged with determination and energy by the example of one of its leaders, a preacher named Martin Luther King, Jr. Blacks in Montgomery have begun practicing passive resistance, a nonviolent form of refusing to comply with racist laws and rules.


Griffin depressed and weary of life as a black man, briefly stops taking his medication and lightens his skin back to his normal color. He begins alternating back and forth between races, visiting a place first as a black man and then as a white man. He notices immediately that when he is a white man, whites treat him with respect and blacks treat him with suspicious fear; when he is a black man, blacks treat him with generosity and warmth, while whites treat him with hostility and contempt.


After series of interviews and photographic record of his time, he permanently returns his skin color to white, returns to his family and writes his article, which is published in March 1960. The story of his amazing experience quickly spreads around the world, and he receives a flood of congratulatory mail, as well as interviews invitations from television shows and newsmagazines. In Mansfield, however, the prevalent attitude is that of racism, and Griffin and his family becomes the subject of hateful reprisals. An effigy of Griffin, painted half white and half black, is burned on Main Street; a cross is burned in a Negro schoolyard; threats are made against Griffin, including one to castrate him. By August, things are so bad that he has decided to move his family to Mexico.


However, the book made him receive international respect as a human rights activist. After its publication, he became a leading advocate in the Civil Rights Movement and did much to promote awareness of racial situations.


It has been erroneously claimed that the large doses of Oxsoralen John Howard Griffin used in 1959 eventually led to his death in 1980 at age 60 from (the claim asserts) skin cancer. However, Griffin never had skin cancer; the only negative symptoms he suffered because of the drug were temporary and minor. The worst, arguably, were fatigue and nausea.


Griffin had suffered from myriad health problems for much of his adult life: in addition to a severe head injury he suffered in World War II, Griffin contracted malaria, which attacked his spine and temporarily paralyzed him. He later developed both diabetes and osteomyelitis. In 1976, Griffin suffered a heart attack during a lecture tour; he would suffer several more in the final four years of his life.


Dream Variations by Langston Hughes

To fling my arms wide
In some place of the sun,
To whirl and to dance
Till the white day is done.
Then rest at cool evening
Beneath a tall tree
While night comes on gently,
Dark like me-
That is my dream!

To fling my arms wide
In the face of the sun,
Dance! Whirl! Whirl!
Till the quick day is done.
Rest at pale evening...
A tall, slim tree...
Night coming tenderly
Black like me.

(This poem is where the novel gets its name)

This review I referred to few different sources:
1- The Novel “Black Like Me”
2- Info from Wiki
3- Review from other internet sources


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Matsuyuki, Will you be My New Dream?

Matsuyuki? Japanese? WHY?? O'cmon Fiya.. don't tell me you got fed-up with locals and now trying out new chance with a Japanese guy?

Hahaha.... Hellooo... new dream doesn't have to be a new boyfriend okay.

Matsuyuki is brand name of a sewing machine under janome (japan's origin, world's leader on sewing machines). In Malaysia, Syarikat Epal is currently the distributor of these machines. Besides selling machines, Epal is famous with its training courses on sewing business.

So, Matsuyuki has become my new shift to paradigm about life. BUT, i have one major problem to tackle on. The TRANSITION. How could a loyal PC user transfer herself into an expert in sewing??? Too CONTRAST, isn't it?


The 'ancient' IBM R40E, my loyal company all this while


The Matsuyuki - Gosh .. could I reaaly do it?!

MIRACLES OF GOOD, PLEASE HELP ME!

p.s. heheheh..it's okay to be exaggerating sometimes rite? :-p


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Sick? Swallow some "paracethamol" to cure...

Paracetamol? It is a major ingredient in numerous cold and flu remedies. Panadol is one of so many. In simple word, if you are sick, eat Panadol lah! Hehe

But, this post is not going to elaborate more about Panadol or paracetamol. I just want to post something about my music of choice. Why music? Because music often be my "Panadol" of life...hhehe

Three songs had pull the attraction towards me these days. They did cure some wounds, create little sparks of light in boring mood, as well as 'slap' me in the face to wake my 'sleepy' soul into active mode again.


1. "Sampai Nanti, Sampai Mati" by Letto.




kalau kau pernah takut mati, sama
kalau kau pernah patah hati, aku juga iya
dan sering kali sial datang dan pergi
tanpa permisi kepadamu
suasana hati tak peduli

kalau kau kejar mimpimu, salut
kalau kau ingin berhenti
ingat tuk mulai lagi
tetap semangat dan teguhkan hati
di setiap hari.. sampai nanti sampai mati

tetap melangkah
dan keraskan hati
di setiap hari
sampai nanti sampai mati



2. "You'll Think of Me" by Keith Urban.




I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday




3. A catchy sound of Enrique Iglesias's "I'm Takin' Back My love" featuring Ciara.





Go ahead just leave, can't hold you, you're free
You take all these things, if they mean so much to you
I gave you your dreams, 'cause you meant the world
So did I deserve to be left here hurt?

You think I don't know you're out of control
I ended up finding all of this from my boys
Girl, you're stone cold, you say it ain't so
You already know I'm not attached to material

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love
My love

Yeah, what did I do but give love to you?
I'm just confused as I stand here and look at you
From head to feet, all that's not me
Go 'head, keep the keys, that's not what I need from you

You think that you know
(I do)
You've made yourself cold
(Oh yeah)
How could you believe them over me, I'm your girl

You're out of control
(So what?)
How could you let go?
(Oh yeah)
Don't you know I'm not attached to material?

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

So all this love I give you, take it away
(Uh, uh huh)
You think material's the reason I came
(Uh, uh huh)

If I had nothing would you want me to stay
(Uh, uh huh)
You keep your money, take it all away

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love

I'd give it all up but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

Ooh, my love
(I'm taking back my love)
Ooh, my love




What is your "Panadol" of life?

p.s. Don't forget, panadol are only for temporary cure ;-)

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Selimuti Aku









selimuti aku
aku kedinginan
dakaplah hatiku
gigilku tak tertahan...

kesandung dalam gejolak emosi tak bertepian
nyasar dalam lara jiwa nan terbakar
parah tertusuk kalbu yang paling dalam
gigil... menggigil terus tak tertahankan

rentan jiwa yang belum pernah terasakan
dinding kamar bisu jadi saksi kujur tubuh kaku..
lebih kaku dari batu
hati mendingin, darah membeku
akankah terhenti jantungku?

pun gugurlah deras air dari sang mata
lebih deras lagi detak jantung dalam dada
takutnya menghadap sang Pencipta Hukum :-(
takutnya tak kuat melafaz ampun!

-----------//-----------


bingar burung-burung bernyanyi
riang dan ramai
mampu juga menggamit walau tawar
senyum di bibir melawan ketar
ibu-ibu burung dengan air di tangan
siap meredam panas hati yang tercalar
pun ia bangun dan siap melangkah walau gontai
menghadap itu yang namanya kenyataan

-----------//-----------

matinya satu mimpi
matilah satu pelangi

akankah muncul mimpi itu lagi
bila mati setengah hati?~

.................................................................................//

- - Tragedi 20 Jun 2009; nukilan f14-220609

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Two Days One Night at Dusun Eco Resort

Program:
School Holiday Program (SHOP) with ASPEN CENTRE

Location:
Dusun Eco Resort, Pahang

Date:
10th and 11th June 2009

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Is 'pulang kampung' a threatening plan for me?

Few days ago, my parent came out with a plan. It’s a plan which I could have expected less at this point of time where all activities of other plans were on going and hectic. It’s ‘pulang kampung’ plan. Gosh! Suddenly, there’s an alarm in my head feels like threatening.Is it really threatening? Shouldn’t I be the happiest person on earth, jumping and screaming out loud for gratefulness and joy? I miss ‘kampung’ so much. It’s almost eight years now since I haven’t visited the grateful land where I was born 27 years ago. A land that sends glitters in my heart every time the old memories flashes back. The ‘kampung’ I kept mentioning about is, Bawean Island.

With those excitement and joy I longing for, why on earth should I feel threatened then?

One may say, ‘These days, Fiya always claim that she has no time for other thing but work.” Another may say “She’s ‘broke’. Where can she find money to spend on?” Or, another more interesting fact may say “Fiya takut ditanyain uwa nya kenapa belum kawin!!” huahuahua …You know what? All those reasons are actually very true. I am very different since the first time I left kampung. I am no more a little girl who would cry for hours, reluctant to leave her elder brother at kampung. I remember the time when I look at his watery eyes over the fence at Sangkapura harbor; he waved hopelessly at me while I make my way towards the kapal. Mom had to calm us down (me and my younger sis) when we couldn’t stop crying along the journey to Gresik. For that reason too, she took one more ferry ride with us to visit Madura Island after that while waiting for our flight schedule back to KL.

But, that was a long time ago. My brother doing fine now and live happily with his wife and two children at Kampung. As for me, I am no more a young pampered teenager who misses her big bro’s company. I am now a big sister of a younger sis and a younger bro. I even act like a mother for them too; sometimes :-). Most importantly now, I am a working lady with fully occupied schedule 24 x 7. Fuiyyoo…! My friend said, “kalah Rafidah Aziz (dulu la waktu Rafidah Aziz masih jadi Ketua Wanita)”. Sounds overreacting huh? Hahahaa...

As for the past journey, I would only think about the joy of meeting relatives, eating those original fresh foods, tasting the salty sea water in my mouth when I enjoyed swimming every afternoon at SESEKAN behind KAK Mimi’s house, not to forget collecting CACABBIAN, one type of tiny snail, and naik jukong (a small boat) with my cousin, Anhari. Then, I had totally forgotten about TV and other ga
mes when I enjoyed the mud while helping the villagers planting at paddy field. That was awesome, EXCEPT for the red worm that crawled over my leg after I came out from the mud, its gross!
Axis Kuhli, a deer species you could only get in Bawean Island

In English, they say, where there’s a will there’s a way. But, in Bahasa melayu, kalau NAK seribu daya, kalau TAK NAK seribu dalih.

Hmm... Anyhow, I had started planning for it now. The best date for me to ‘pulang kampung’ had been identified (but not yet to be exposed). Hopefully, everything turns out well, not just for the journey, but more importantly for the responsibility-hook I may release for quite a while ~ Amin.


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Zee Avi - artis You Tube lagi .. top!

Inspired by Sya's blog, I quickly post this one here. Thanx Sya. It's very true, whoever loves Yuna, will surely love Zee Avi as well. The same flow of music, same source of inspiration. What's left to compete now is only their creativities.

(Info source from Wiki, .. Wiki, often be my 1st choice of info searching & sharing).
Zee Avi, known as Kokokaina at YouTube. She was born in Miri, Sarawak, East Malaysia. Born on 1986, real name, Izyan Alirahman. She is a Malaysian singer-songwriter, guitarist, and ukulele player. She moved to Kuala Lumpur when she was 12. She studied fashion design at American InterContinental University in London.

- ukulele -

Avi originally posted a video of her first song on YouTube because one of her friends had missed her first performance in Kuala Lumpur, so she created a video on YouTube for him to watch. He convinced Avi to leave the video up, and soon she received positive feedback, which inspired her to put more videos on YouTube. After she was featured YouTube, she attracted the attention of Brushfire Records, with which she would join. Her song "No Christmas For Me" is featured on Brushfire Records's 2008 Christmas album This Warm December: A Brushfire Holiday. Her single "Bitter Heart" was first to become available on the US iTunes store, and her full self-titled debut album was released on May 19, 2009. On the day of her album's release, YouTube featured her on the front page in Spotlight: Music Tuesday. She is currently touring the United States.

My personal comment:
She is talented. I wonder why our local producers didn't grab her first. People like Zee is a great asset of our local music industry. (Takdelah asik kena kutuk je dgn org Indo..hehe..*peace*) Maybe, producers should start doing different method of looking for new talents, rather than having the same normal conventional ones. e.g. u know lah..

Intip-intip lah sikit internet nih.. kan dah kena kebas orang US dulu. Hehe.. But, like Yuna, young artists are now very independent. They do everything themselves and that's a sign of a good change. Not perfect, but slowly, they will learn by time.

'Kantoi' is a song by Zee Avi that blend lyrics from Bahasa Malaysia and English. I'm very sure this will create (if not already have) new phenomena and will attract so many critics from various language experts. As for me, what important is the balance. When the music catches the right tune, blending the sound super-well enough for most of our ears to appreciate it, then, the wording sometimes will be less important. It's just like listening to a song with amazing sounds and rhythm that really catches your attention, but in a different language you not even knew one single meaning of it. But, to have a song that could let us inspired from both rhythms and words, that is a bonus that could stick the melody longer in our sweet memories.

So, Zee, keep up the good work, and work harder to improvise your quality along with time, it's just obeying another normal nature rules like what others did (^_*)

(#f14)



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Belajar dari lagu Laskar Pelangi

(lg demen ama Bhs Indonesia..sori klo krg brkenan)

Tadi malem, aku contact seorang temen yg lagi kesusahan. Tapi, pas ngeliat nomer ku di HP, langsung diputusin! Aku ga kaget sama sekali. Malah aku ngerti bgt kenapa dia begitu.

Dia pasti tau, tidak ada lain yg akan ku omongin ke dia selain untuk kuatkan semangat, jangan putus asa ..walau sesusah apa pun cobaan, tetap kau punya peluang untuk perbaiki diri.

Tapi,..yaah...orang lagi susah, mau diapain. Terpaksalah aku nunggu besok2 untuk ngobrol lagi dengannya. Tapi percayalah temanku, dalam setiap kesempitan itu, ada kelapangan. Dalam kesempitan, ada kelapangan! Tapi dengan satu syarat, kau harus lebih dulu MEMPERCAYAINYA.

Berhentilah sebentar dari kerisauanmu. Ayo kita keluar sebentar dari kotak masalah mu. Walau di luar itu hujan, tapi gapapa.. karna, kalau kau amati dengan saksama, sebentar lagi akan keluar satu cahaya yang indah.. cahaya pelangi..

.. rainbow carrots :-) nice ..

Selama bertahun-tahun kita hidup, pernah kah kita syukuri terbitnya sang pelangi sehabis hujan? Tapi, ada hujan yang ga ada pelanginya .. gimana tuh? hahahah..
Pelajaran inti bagi semua ini adalah, .. semua orang berhak punya harapan, berhak punya cita-cita dalam hidupnya. Walaupun kita gak bakalan tau, apa yang akan terjadi besok hari. Seperti juga, kita ga bakalan tau akankah terbit pelangi sehabis hujan ini nanti?

Bangkitlah .. walaupun perlahan.
Percayalah.. masih ada harapan menunggu mu di depan..
Kita bersahabat bagaikan saudara.
Hari ni kau lelah, aku yang bangunkan.
Besok aku lelah, siapa yang mau ngebantu aku klo bukan sahabat juga?

Ngomong2..kita tekuni aja lirik lagunya Nidji ni ehh.. biar sedikit tenang :-) And, klo punya waktu, sekalian nonton filem nya aja deh.. impak nya lebih seru.

Laskar Pelangi - Nidji



mimpi adalah kunci
untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
berlarilah
tanpa lelah sampai engkau
meraihnya

laskar pelangi
takkan terikat waktu
bebaskan mimpimu di angkasa
warnai bintang di jiwa

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah surga
bersukurlah pada yang kuasa
cinta kita di dunia

selamanya...

cinta kepada hidup
memberikan senyuman abadi
walau hidup kadang tak adil
tapi cinta lengkapi kita

laskar pelangi
takkan terikat waktu
jangan berhenti mewarnai
jutaan mimpi di bumi

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia takseindah surga
bersukurlah pada yang kuasa
cinta kita di dunia

selamanya...



dari aku, sahabat setia,
-f14-

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Sidang Para Tani

(bukan Sidang Para Monyet ya!)

Persis sebilah kapak di tangan Algojo
Sinarnya tajam penuh ancaman
Siap memotong waktu yang cuma tinggal dua jam
Dalam kamar terang, hingar tapi muram
Ampun Pak Kiyai, ku dulukan tanya
Apalah guna kebun di tepi sawah
Ditanami segala macam pepohonan
Tempat burung-burung saling bergantian
Menunggu musim yang belum juga mau menjelang

Pak tani optimis mulai lelah
Mengartikan budinya dalam resah
Tanah subur dibajai
Air cukup membasahi
Tangan tak henti menabur budi
Pada kebun impian segala ukhti
Tapi,
Kenapa buahnya belum juga mau menjadi?
Wahai..
Salam pada semua anak tani,
Dengarkan bapakmu ini mau berperi!

Mana santun mu,
Kalau senyummu itu manis kelat?
Mana susila mu,
Kalau tuturmu sungkan-sungkanan?

Sadarlah...
Walau kau pohonkan segala sakti
Tiadalah bukti segala bakti
Pada hati yang akan mati
Sudah terang lagi bersuluh
Ikhlas budimu tersalah arti
Benarlah kata-kata Imam Ghazali,
Tak sebanding budi sang semut hitam,
Dalam kamar gelap gulita, di atas batu hitam.


Luruskan kembali ikhlas hatimu
Hanya, dan semata-mata hanya, untuk Dia yang satu
Dan bukan karna sesuatu di luar,
dan yang akan keluar dari kebunmu!

...

Sidang petani bubar,
Bunyi suling pilu menggetar....!



(#f14/220509 10:00)

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Cleopatra Stratan - Zunea Zunea

Dedicated to my little brother ... enjoy!



Info from Wiki:

Cleopatra Stratan (born October 6, 2002 in Chişinău, Moldova), the daughter of Moldovan-Romanian singer, Pavel Stratan, is the youngest person ever to score commercial success as a singer, with her 2006 album La vârsta de trei ani ("At the age of 3"). She holds the record for being the youngest artist that performed live for two hours in front of a large audience, the highest paid young artist, the youngest artist to receive an MTV award and the youngest artist to score a #1 hit in a country.

Early Life:

Pavel Stratan, father of Cleopatra, was in a studio recording a song with 3 years old Cleopatra hanging around. Impulsively, she grabbed a microphone and started singing along with Pavel. Everybody was stunned so they ended up recording the song with Cleopatra performing the lead vocals suggest that as she is younger than Shirley Temple, she should be included in the Guinness Book of World Records as the youngest talent ever to perform on stage and record her own album. In Romania, Moldova, and around the world, there seems to be a growing fan base. Some of her songs have already been translated into English and Spanish. She also found success in Japan. La vârsta de trei ani ("At the age of 3") was a double platinum disk in the summer of 2006 for selling more than 150,000 albums in Romania. In December 2006, her father announced that until the next album (possibly in one or two years), she will no longer sing publicly.

As of 2006 December, Cleopatra's biggest hit is the song "Ghiţă".

In 2008, Cleopatra released her second album called 'La Varsta De 5 Ani" with the hit song "Zunea-Zunea". On December 18th, 2008,her brother, Cezar (named by Cleopatra) was born. She also had a concert on the 20th of December before leaving to Chisinau to see her younger brother.
(#)


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Hentikan sebentar rajukmu, Ibu

Buat ibuku , Pn Aminah Binti Ahmad,
Yang marah-marah, tapi sayang,
Yang bising-bising, tapi caring,

Hentikan lah sebentar rajukmu, ibu,
Dengarkan lagu ini yang anak-anak bandelmu,
khususkan buatmu...

(font sengaja dibesarkan dari biasa, biar ibu bisa baca..)

Pesona Potretmu (Ada Band)

Letih terlihat diwajah yang tua itu
Tertidur pulas dalam alunan gelap malam
Dibalik senyummu teduhkanku
Terbayang potret kala engkau masih muda
Ajarkan sebuah kata cinta dalam hidup
Kekuatan kasihmu nyata pulihkan jiwaku yang kadang goyah

Reff :
Pesonamu masih jelas kurasa hingga kini
Menemani hingga ku dewasa
Derai airmata dan pengorbananmu takkan tergantikan
Trima kasih ibu..

Waktu cepat bergulir
Sisakan banyak kisah
Dia yang kau cintai tlah lama meninggalkan dirimu sendiri
Namun tetap kau berdiri tegar pada dunia

Pesonamu masih jelas kurasa hingga kini
Menemani hingga ku dewasa
Derai airmata dan pengorbananmu takkan tergantikan
Trima kasih ibu..



Selamat Hari Ibu buat emak, mama, ibu, ummi, amma, mummy, mom, etc etc...
Dari Kak Piye + kak Ala + Amil - - - WE LAP YUUUU...muaaachh!!


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Dekat Tapi Jauh


(hey hey... trust me, better entry this time... hohoohho... This is a lesson learned from a small boy.. happy reading).

Selalu tak tengok orang marah? Cuba bayangkan satu situasi yang sangat tegang antara dua orang. Mula-mula berselisih pendapat, masing-masing bertegang leher cuba mempertahankan pendirian sendiri. Mereka enggan sefahaman. Lalu, perbualan yang tadinya aman kini bertukar menjadi rusuh pula.

Mereka sedang marah dan tak puas hati, memang itulah yang kita dapat lihat dan simpulkan. Tapi, apa pula kata seorang anak kecil yang sedari tadi asyik memerhati. Dia memandang penuh kehairanan. Dalam hatinya penuh tanya. Apakah yang jadi tanda tanya kepada anak ini, padahal dia tidak mengerti satu apa pun yang dibicarakan oleh dua orang dewasa itu?

Simple. Tanya anak kecil itu, "Kenapa lah dua orang ni cakap kuat-kuat dan menjerit-jerit, sedangkan duduk dekat-dekat, sebelah-menyebelah saja??"
Ohh.... tak faham rupanya anak kecil ni bahawa dua orang itu sedang betengkar...

Eh, nanti dulu. Ada satu pelajaran penting yang kita boleh nilai dari soalan tersebut. Cuba fikirkan. Bukankah soalan itu logik? Mereka saling menjerit, padahal mereka tak jauh antara satu sama lain.

Jadi, apakah yang jauh sebenarnya?

HATI.

Ya, hati mereka yang menjauh. The HEART is far apart. Bila hati menjauh, penyatuan dua insan adalah hampir tidak mungkin. Saling tau, tapi sengaja tidak mau mengerti. Saling sadar, tapi tidak mau ambil pusing. Bila hati menjauh, kalau pun tidak benci, tapi mereka sudah saling tidak sayang.

Misal yang paling dekat adalah suami isteri. Bila bertengkar, mereka tidak mau mengalah. Suami enggan faham kemauan istri, si isteri pula tak mau ambil peduli keinginan suami. Kalau dibiarkan begini, silah antara keduanya makin menjauh dan akhirnya putus.

Dalam perniagaan, tangan yang dijabat tanda persetujuan dan penerimaan.
Dalam perhubungan, hati yang diikat tanda cinta dan kasih sayang.

Kalau hati mendekat, saling melekat, keinginan tak perlu diucap. Apa yang terdetik dalam hati akan terus dimengerti. Betul tak? (orang yang sedang bercinta pasti setuju .. hehe)

Justru, fahamilah dengan sejati, hati itu bersatu harus bagaimana, dan Siapa sebenarnya yang menyatukan.

Al-Anfaal:63 - dan Yang mempersatukan hati mereka (orang-orang yang beriman). Walaupun kamu membelanjakan semua (kekayaan) yang berada di bumi, niscaya kamu tidak dapat mempersatukan hati mereka, akan tetapi Allah telah mempersatukan hati mereka. Sesungguhnya Dia Maha Gagah lagi Maha Bijaksana.

We're all different, that's why we are the same.

They are in Love. They can't be separated.

We are One... :-D

(pic credit to: several images from web found thru google image search. Thank U!)


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to my dear abalone goreng kicap

Dedicated to my dearest abalone goreng kicap ...

You! I came here to see you, but you just put me in blue,
I don't know which one is true, leaving me no clue,
Should this be the last time I ever miss you??


hii...hee .. hehe ... heheheheheheheheheheh .............


p.s.: hehe... oppologize for this meaningless update. I just could not help to see only one (1) post updated every month .. hahaha .. (shortcut for lazy head!)

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One Sincere Love

Dear Bloggy,


My feeling is a bit mixed up this morning, doubtful and questionable since last night. This is due to one relatively shocking yet awakening news about someone very important in our company is required to be transferred. Not long since we've been in the same group, striving for the same aim, winning some and loosing some in the same rhythm of hope throughout these past few months. Not to mention the good things we've learned from him, neither to list out the concepts and values he made us understand in one special way or another. Or, probably I'm just being too sensitive to this thing called 'love'.

One doesn't need to instruct in words, to let others receive that much love and care he/she willing to posses. One does not need additional tool to spread out the goodness of a value when patience, passion and sincerity is always within him all along.

While they are around, you sometimes just don't realize their existence because of comfort and calmness they've affected into the 'climate'. And, when suddenly they disappear, you will start wondering why something is missing. That is one way to know if ever someone has truly, passionately, and sincerely dedicated his love to you.

Life has to move on, I know. It's indeed very true that sometimes (most of the times), people will learn better and faster through the hard way. Probably we've just reached out a level of comfort or ease where learning is getting slower in speed and some knocking on the head needed to wake everyone up. Whichever it might be for, I certainly confident we are making a change for the sake of goodness and better improvement in future.

Last but not least, I won't say good bye to you, Sir. Our path will definitely cross again, sooner or later. Until we meet again and my very best wishes and prayers will always be with you.

wa Salamun 'Alaikum...!

For personal reference:
Alam Nasyrah, 94:1~8
Bukankah Kami telah melapangkan untukmu dadamu?,
dan Kami telah menghilangkan daripadamu bebanmu,
yang memberatkan punggungmu
Dan Kami tinggikan bagimu sebutan (nama)mu
Karena sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan
sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan
Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain
dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap.

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A Heart Made of Stone



Bumblebee bumblebee
Reach out your morning glory

            Rumble me rumble me
            To you I couldn’t help to feel sorry


What a busy busy
Bumblebee flying alone

            What a dizzy dizzy
            Facing a heart that made of stone


Bumblebee bumblebee
Between flowers you care of
Its sweetness sense a call

            Rumble me rumble me
            Within you is what you fear of
            It's the reason behind these all


Bee glory-glory
You let sweetness surrounded you
As you are now in hall of fame

            Heart stony-stony
            You let darkness grounded you
            So that you have a point to blame


Bumblebee bumblebee
Goodness is what you feed
To a delicious sweet honey tart

            Proud me proud me
            Sunshine is what you need
            To melt your malicious stony heart

            O' dearest heart-stony
            Don’t you know, your sunshine is me??



... ... #f14-230309 ... ...

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Mouse Painting

I just realize something bout my hand when I look at all these pictures. It is having a good relationship with my mouse. They two move and dance along like they were close friends. Hehe..
These pics were painted using Windows Paint, and Windows Paint only. Nothing to do wit Photoshop or any other auto-tool drawing, no mouse pen, no touch screen, nothing ok. Solely = Paint + Mouse + my Hand :-D
Some of them has been painted recently, and some was 'ancient'. I juz got the feeling to paste it here to add on my original collections. But, I don't do this all the time. Only when I got the feeling to do so (which does not come always), then I'll do it.

Desc:
Nothing too abstract bout this pic. Its meaning showed clearly by the dark sky, the rain and the dark windy ocean. But, those strikes should create the strongest effect of all :-D

Desc:
Masa kecik2, I believe everyone likes to draw pokok kelapa, right? This is just one of my pokok kelapa .. tak nampak buah pun. Konon2 tertutup dek daun.. kekekkeke .. It's under the bright shiny sun ..and clear blue sky... hmm... Can u imagine that?? :-)

Desc:
Ini memang pemandangan masa I balik kampung .. I think around 5 or 6 years ago. Well, it doesn't look exactly like that, but this is the best that I could described on. hehe... Longing to be there again. This memorable view I kept properly and safely, not in my head, but in my heart. Miss you, Bawean.

Desc:
Huh.. what is? I dunno either. I simply scribble my mouse on Windows Paint again (after so long), when I was feeling so angry and struggle to calm myself down when I tak puas hati dgn bos mk.
Surprisingly, it's not only capable to cool me down, but also excite me up. hahahah.. Dont you think this one is more like an abstract drawing which also means something? If not, let me enjoy it alone.. Hehehe..

Rgds,
#Fia

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How Car Engine Works II


Engine Problems
(Source: http://www.howstuffworks.com)

So you go out one morning and your engine will turn over but it won't start... What could be wrong? Now that you know how an engine works, you can understand the basic things that can keep an engine from running. Three fundamental things can happen: a bad fuel mix, lack of compression or lack of spark. Beyond that, thousands of minor things can create problems, but these are the "big three." Based on the simple engine we have been discussing, here is a quick rundown on how these problems affect your engine:
Bad fuel mix - A bad fuel mix can occur in several ways:
  • You are out of gas, so the engine is getting air but no fuel.
  • The air intake might be clogged, so there is fuel but not enough air.
  • The fuel system might be supplying too much or too little fuel to the mix, meaning that combustion does not occur properly.
  • There might be an impurity in the fuel (like water in your gas tank) that makes the fuel not burn.
Lack of compression - If the charge of air and fuel cannot be compressed properly, the combustion process will not work like it should. Lack of compression might occur for these reasons:
  • Your piston rings are worn (allowing air/fuel to leak past the piston during compression).
  • The intake or exhaust valves are not sealing properly, again allowing a leak during compression.
  • There is a hole in the cylinder.
The most common "hole" in a cylinder occurs where the top of the cylinder (holding the valves and spark plug and also known as the cylinder head) attaches to the cylinder itself. Generally, the cylinder and the cylinder head bolt together with a thin gasket pressed between them to ensure a good seal. If the gasket breaks down, small holes develop between the cylinder and the cylinder head, and these holes cause leaks.

Lack of spark - The spark might be nonexistent or weak for a number of reasons:
  • If your spark plug or the wire leading to it is worn out, the spark will be weak.
  • If the wire is cut or missing, or if the system that sends a spark down the wire is not working properly, there will be no spark.
  • If the spark occurs either too early or too late in the cycle (i.e. if the ignition timing is off), the fuel will not ignite at the right time, and this can cause all sorts of problems.
Many other things can go wrong. For example:
  • If the battery is dead, you cannot turn over the engine to start it.
  • If the bearings that allow the crankshaft to turn freely are worn out, the crankshaft cannot turn so the engine cannot run.
  • If the valves do not open and close at the right time or at all, air cannot get in and exhaust cannot get out, so the engine cannot run.
  • If someone sticks a potato up your tailpipe, exhaust cannot exit the cylinder so the engine will not run.
  • If you run out of oil, the piston cannot move up and down freely in the cylinder, and the engine will seize.
In a properly running engine, all of these factors are within tolerance.

p.s. click here to see the structure of engine in 3D-animation. Fantabulousent!



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How Car Engine Works?

Why would I like to know detail about how car engine works?
Of course, to really taste my own medicine laa.. to learn a lesson out of experience. I would focus into two topics :
1- Internal Combustion Process
2- Engine Problems
>>Thou it is a copy-paste kinda posting, but I hope it does some good to you, as how it does for me too :-)



Figure 1

Internal Combustion Process
(Resource: http://auto.howstuffworks.com)


The principle behind any reciprocating internal combustion engine: If you put a tiny amount of high-energy fuel (like gasoline) in a small, enclosed space and ignite it, an incredible amount of energy is released in the form of expanding gas. You can use that energy to propel a potato 500 feet. In this case, the energy is translated into potato motion. You can also use it for more interesting purposes. For example, if you can create a cycle that allows you to set off explosions like this hundreds of times per minute, and if you can harness that energy in a useful way, what you have is the core of a car engine!

Almost all cars currently use what is called a four-stroke combustion cycle to convert gasoline into motion. The four-stroke approach is also known as the Otto cycle, in honor of Nikolaus Otto, who invented it in 1867. The four strokes are illustrated in Figure 1. They are:
• Intake stroke
• Compression stroke
• Combustion stroke
• Exhaust stroke

You can see in the figure that a device called a piston replaces the potato in the potato cannon. The piston is connected to the crankshaft by a connecting rod. As the crankshaft revolves, it has the effect of "resetting the cannon." Here's what happens as the engine goes through its cycle:
The piston starts at the top, the intake valve opens, and the piston moves down to let the engine take in a cylinder-full of air and gasoline. This is the intake stroke. Only the tiniest drop of gasoline needs to be mixed into the air for this to work. (Part 1 of the figure)
  1. Then the piston moves back up to compress this fuel/air mixture. Compression makes the explosion more powerful. (Part 2 of the figure)
  2. When the piston reaches the top of its stroke, the spark plug emits a spark to ignite the gasoline. The gasoline charge in the cylinder explodes, driving the piston down. (Part 3 of the figure)
  3. Once the piston hits the bottom of its stroke, the exhaust valve opens and the exhaust leaves the cylinder to go out the tailpipe. (Part 4 of the figure)
Now the engine is ready for the next cycle, so it intakes another charge of air and gas.

Notice that the motion that comes out of an internal combustion engine is rotational, while the motion produced by a potato cannon is linear (straight line). In an engine the linear motion of the pistons is converted into rotational motion by the crankshaft. The rotational motion is nice because we plan to turn (rotate) the car's wheels with it anyway.

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